#32: For the Wall or For Myself? Making Art with Eyes on It

With Holmfirth Artweek finally here, I’ve been thinking a lot about the shift that happens when paintings leave the studio and head out into the world. It’s not just a logistical handover — it’s emotional too. The work that began in private is about to be looked at, judged, felt, dismissed, loved. That’s the nature of exhibiting. But it’s made me reflect on a deeper question I ask myself all the time:

Am I making this for the wall, or for myself?

In the Beginning, It’s Always for Me

In the studio, it’s just me, the canvas, and whatever I’m trying to work through. There’s no wall in mind, no potential buyer, no panel of judges. It’s a conversation I’m having with the paint — or sometimes, an argument. There’s a freedom in that solitude. I can follow strange instincts, make things that don’t make sense, sit in the ugly middle stages and see where they lead.

That part of the process is pure. Necessary. And honestly, it’s where most of the good stuff starts.

But Then… The Wall Appears

As a deadline approaches — like Holmfirth Artweek — something changes. There’s suddenly a space to imagine. A physical wall. A person standing in front of the work. And even if I’m not consciously thinking “will this sell?” or “what will people think?”, the awareness creeps in.

It’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes that imagined wall sharpens my focus. It helps me clarify what I’m trying to say, because I know it’s going to be read. I don’t paint differently, but I might finish differently — more decisively. There’s a kind of gravity that comes with knowing it’s going to be seen.

Holding Both Spaces

What I’ve learned is that the healthiest way forward is to hold both spaces — the internal and the external, the personal and the public. I want to make work that means something to me, but I also want it to live in the world. That tension is part of what keeps it alive.

I try not to let the wall steer the painting. If a piece is only being made to look good hung up, it usually falls flat — too polished, too cautious. But if I never think about the wall at all, I risk keeping the work in a bubble, never allowing it to connect beyond me.

This Body of Work

The paintings going to Holmfirth Artweek were made with both sides of me — the one who paints to process and the one who paints to share. I didn’t make them with an audience in mind, but I did want them to speak. I let the colours shout where they needed to. I let the surfaces stay rough in places. I followed what felt true.

And now, they’re headed to the wall. To the space where someone else might see something entirely different — or maybe, unexpectedly, exactly the same.

In the End, It’s About Connection

Whether I’m making for the wall or for myself, what I really want is connection. A shared spark. A brief moment where the painting becomes a bridge — between what I felt when I made it, and what someone else feels when they see it.

That, to me, is the point. And that’s why I keep doing it.

.M.

Be real.

Make art.

If you’d like to learn more about my creative process or see my latest work, feel free to reach out or check out the rest of my website.